How to interpret what someone feels through body language?

My husband barely speaks anymore and I feel like I can't understand what he wants or if he's suffering. I get distressed not knowing if he's in pain or just uncomfortable. How can I learn to read what he's feeling?

That anguish of not knowing if someone we love is suffering is one of the hardest to bear. I want to reassure you: your husband's body still communicates a lot, and you can learn to listen to it.

Why it happens

In advanced stages, verbal language is lost, but emotional and physical communication remains. Expressions, muscle tension, sounds, and gestures become the main way for the person to express what they feel.

Practical strategies

• Observe the face: a furrowed brow, closed eyes, or grimaces can indicate pain or discomfort.
• Notice body tension, agitation, moans, refusal of touch, or protecting a body area.
• Look for signs of well-being: relaxed body, calm breathing, gentle gaze.
• Use gentle touch and a calm voice to soothe and observe the reaction.
• Check basic needs: hunger, thirst, nappy, warmth, position.

What NOT to do

• Do not assume silence means an absence of pain or emotion.
• Do not ignore sudden changes in behaviour, which may signal illness.

When to seek professional help

If you suspect persistent pain or discomfort, contact your GP or NHS 111. Palliative care teams are specialists in assessing and alleviating uncommunicated suffering.

"I learned to recognise every grimace he made. Today I know, just by looking at him, if he is at peace or if something is bothering him." — Anonymous Carer