The person is losing weight. What can I do?

My mum is getting thinner and thinner, her clothes are already loose, and eating has become a struggle at every meal. I see her wasting away and feel helpless. What can I do to help her gain weight again?

Seeing someone we love lose weight is distressing and makes us feel like we're failing. You're not. Weight loss is one of the most frequent difficulties in dementia and rarely depends solely on your effort.

Why it happens

There are many causes: the person forgets to eat or that they are hungry, tastes and smell change, chewing and swallowing may be more difficult, agitation burns energy, and some illnesses or medications reduce appetite. Problems with the mouth, teeth, or dentures also play a role.

Practical strategies

• Offer small, frequent meals throughout the day instead of three large ones.
• Boost each dish with olive oil, egg, cheese, milk, or cream without increasing the volume.
• Serve favourite dishes and appealing colours; food should be a pleasure, not an obligation.
• Reduce distractions and eat next to the person, setting an example.
• Check their mouth, teeth, and dentures.

What NOT to do

• Do not force or pressure them to eat; it leads to refusal and conflict.
• Do not let the meal last so long that the food gets cold and loses its appeal.
• Do not ignore rapid weight loss.

When to seek professional help

Talk to your GP if the weight loss is rapid or continuous, if there are choking incidents, fever, or significant refusal to eat. You can request a nutritional assessment and screening for treatable causes. If in doubt, call NHS 111.

"I started putting olive oil and egg in everything and serving small plates. It stopped being a battle, and she started to gain some weight back." — Anonymous Carer