What is dementia and what distinguishes it from normal ageing?

My mum is 78 and has become much more forgetful. Everyone tells me it's just her age, but I don't know if this is normal or if it's something more serious. How do I tell the difference?

It's natural to feel torn between wanting to believe everything is fine and the worry your instinct is whispering. Asking these questions isn't an overreaction: it's care.

Why it happens

Dementia is not a single disease, but a set of symptoms (memory loss, difficulties with reasoning, language, or orientation) caused by diseases that affect the brain, such as Alzheimer's. Unlike normal age-related forgetfulness, dementia interferes with daily life and tends to worsen over time.

Practical strategies

• Observe the impact: forgetting a name and remembering it later is common; forgetting how to do a routine task is not.
• Notice changes in behaviour or personality, not just memory.
• Write down concrete examples with dates to show the doctor.
• Book an appointment with your treating doctor for an initial assessment.

What NOT to do

• Don't dismiss it with an "it's just age" if the signs are already affecting daily life.
• Don't try to self-diagnose from the internet.
• Don't confront your mum accusatorily about her lapses.

When to seek professional help

If you notice that forgetfulness is affecting usual tasks, safety, or relationships, consult your treating doctor, who can refer you to neurology. If in doubt about health, you can call the SNS 24 Line (808 24 24 24). Alzheimer Portugal also provides information to families.

"For years I told myself it was just her age. When we finally went to the doctor, I realised that asking for help sooner would have been fairer to both of us." — Anonymous Carer