Confuses family members and mixes up names

My mum calls me by her sister's name and sometimes treats me as if I were her mother. It hurts a lot. How should I react?

Being mistaken for someone else by the person who raised us is one of the most silent pains for a caregiver. The confusion doesn't erase love — it reorganises it over time.

Why it happens

Recent memory fades first; older memories remain. Your mum might be mentally living in a time when her sister was her daily companion — and you, resembling her, "fit" into that role. Calling you "mum" might simply mean "person who looks after me and makes me feel safe".

How to respond

• Don't force correction ("I'm your daughter! Don't you remember?") — it creates anxiety and shame, and rarely "restores" recognition.
• Respond to the emotional role: if she needs her "sister", be the caring presence she is looking for.
• Identify yourself naturally, without testing: "It's me, Ana, I've come to keep you company."
• Use anchors: labelled photos, an album with names, telling old stories where you appear.
• On bad days, touch, tone of voice, and familiar scent communicate more than the correct name.

Looking after yourself

It's legitimate to leave the room and cry. Share this pain with someone — family, friends, or a caregiver support group. And remember this: she might get your name wrong, but she responds to your affection — that connection remains.

Sources: Alzheimer's Association; Alzheimer Europe.