Comfort dolls and soft toys: to use or avoid?

My mum has taken her granddaughter's doll and now treats it like a baby, rocking it and talking to it. Should I take it away from her? Is it degrading?

Seeing your mum rock a doll can be unsettling for any child — it feels like a regression to childhood. But first, look at her face: if there's calm and tenderness, it's doing an important job.

What's happening

Caring is a deep identity — many women (and men) of this generation defined themselves by caring for children. The doll brings back purpose, touch, and affection when words are no longer enough. It's not infantilisation if it comes from her: it's a way to express love that is still available.

How to use it well

• Let her lead: make it available (a realistic doll or a plush animal/robot), without imposing it or presenting it as a "toy".
• Respect the relationship: don't call it a doll in front of her if she treats it as a baby; don't throw it in a corner or use it as blackmail.
• Observe the effects: less agitation, more smiles, moments of calm — these are signs that it's working. If it causes distress (e.g., anxiety because "the baby isn't eating"), gently remove it.
• Prepare the family not to mock or correct — one sentence is enough: "It does her good, and that's what matters."

What institutions say

Dementia associations recognise "doll therapy" as a valid comfort approach when person-centred and respectful of dignity — with the caveat that it does not replace human interaction. Use it as a complement, never as a substitute for your presence.

Sources: Alzheimer's Society (UK); Alzheimer Europe.